Chapter 12
August arrived with a stifling,
unforgiving heat wave,
that forced us to seek refuge near the ocean,
packing our bags for a weekend on the coast.
The drive was filled with chaotic excitement,
as Finn sang loudly to the radio,
and Noah read a massive encyclopedia of sea life,
announcing random facts about tiger sharks.
Grant drove with a relaxed grip on the wheel,
reaching over to squeeze my hand occasionally,
and glancing at me with a look of pure contentment,
that made the long journey feel incredibly short.
We rented a small wooden cabin near the dunes,
with large windows that faced the crashing waves,
and a wooden deck weathered by the salty breeze,
where seagulls perched to beg for breadcrumbs.
The moment we parked the car in the gravel driveway,
the boys threw open the doors and sprinted toward the water,
their bare feet kicking up clouds of white sand,
as they raced to be the first to touch the ocean.
I grabbed a canvas tote bag filled with sunscreen,
and followed them down the narrow wooden path,
feeling the hot sun beat down on my shoulders,
and the soft sand slip between my toes.
Grant carried the beach chairs and an umbrella,
walking beside me with a slow,
steady pace,
and pointing out the colorful kites in the distance,
that danced wildly in the coastal wind.
We set up our little camp near the shoreline,
spreading out colorful towels on the warm ground,
and watching the boys splash in the shallow tide,
their laughter rising above the sound of the surf.
It was a perfect afternoon of simple pleasures,
building crooked sandcastles with moats of seawater,
and searching for unbroken shells hidden in the kelp,
while the sun slowly dipped toward the horizon.
I sat in my chair and watched my family,
my mind drifting back to the dark days of my past,
when a vacation like this would have been ruined,
by my constant anxiety and desperate need to please.
I would have worried about my mother feeling left out,
or Maris feeling judged for not coming along,
and I would have spent the entire trip on my phone,
trying to manage everyone else's fragile emotions.
But now,
the only thing I had to manage was the sunscreen,
and the only emotions that mattered were right here,
playing in the sparkling blue water before my eyes.
Grant sat down beside me with a cold drink,
noticing the thoughtful expression on my face,
and gently bumped his shoulder against mine,
bringing me back to the beautiful present moment.
I smiled and leaned into his comforting touch,
telling him how lucky I felt to be sitting here,
and how much I appreciated his unwavering support,
through all the difficult years of my healing.
He brushed a stray lock of hair from my cheek,
and told me that I had done the hardest work,
by breaking the chains that had held me down,
and choosing to fight for my own happiness.
The boys ran up to us with shivering shoulders,
their lips slightly blue from the cold ocean,
and demanded to be wrapped in their fluffy towels,
before begging for sandwiches and potato chips.
We ate our makeshift dinner on the beach,
watching the sky turn brilliant shades of orange,
and purple,
and soft,
dusty pink.
As the stars began to peek through the twilight,
we packed up our gear and walked back to the cabin,
May you like
our bodies exhausted but our spirits soaring high,
ready to fall asleep to the sound of the restless sea.
